On Display

People live with diabetes in many different ways.

Some of us are unashamed of our medical devices, and flaunt them every chance we get. Others are more private; keeping devices hidden as much as possible, or even choosing not to use certain devices in order to avoid making diabetes more visible. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

The other day I was speaking with my mom about letting my devices show. During our talk I realized how multi-faceted the decision is. I explained to her that I'm not embarrassed for my devices to show. I don't particularly care what other people think. But some days, it's 80 degrees and I just want to run to the store in my tank top without anyone speaking to me.

This seems fair, right? Sometimes we want to be left alone, especially if we're shy or introverted. And even if we're not, sometimes we don't always want to get into a discussion with a stranger about such a personal part of our lives. That's what's unique about diabetes. It is so insidious that you often don't think twice about it, but when someone you don't know brings it up it can feel uncomfortable.

Take going to the beach. If you have a pump or a CGM, it's highly likely that one of these will be on display when you don a bathing suit. And some days, I just want to tan and go swimming. I don't want to talk about diabetes and explain why I'm having that snack. You can be comfortable in your skin, but still not want to be approached. You can be proud of your medical devices, but still want others to respect your privacy.

You can be a loud advocate, but have your days that you just want to just be.

Which begs the question - is this decision wholly on us? I don't think it is. I think that when we decide to let our medical devices show, we're hopeful that the general population will decide to be tactful. That they are kind in their questioning, if they feel the need to question, and that they're receptive to what we have to say.

How To Attend a Meet-up as an Introvert

Contrary to popular belief, introverts don't relish spending the majority of their time in the dim light of their bedroom, hissing at fellow human beings should they dare to intrude.

....Much like extroverts don't enjoy spending every waking minute of their lives at raging parties. This is a generalization about these two often referred-to categories of people that we simply tend to make. In reality, what differentiates an introvert from an extrovert is how they re-charge their batteries. So, as an introvert you may enjoy spending time with others, but in smaller doses. You feel re-energized after cozying up with a good book after a social event. On the other hand, an extrovert will seek out others to socialize with to re-charge. Susan Cain does a much more in-depth exploration of this in her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.

In today's world, much of our support from other T1Ds comes from online, often from people we've never met. There we are able to connect with others, and often organize monthly or weekly in-person meet-ups - think support groups, but less formal and with more quality food involved.

I remember my first meet-up. I attended alone, and it was in Manhattan. I was nervous. I anticipated this; I'm an introvert myself. I also anticipated that by the middle of the meet-up and then walking home afterwards, I would feel happy. Reflecting on the night, I would smile and enthusiastically tell my family about the people I met. So I'm here to tell you that yes, you can attend a meet-up as an introvert. Here are my tips:

Rest Up

Remember that whole thing about what gives you energy? Even though the meet-up can be a fun and pleasant experience, for an introvert it can still be draining! So you'll want to show up with a fully charged battery. That means spending the day doing what brings you peace - reading, exercising, taking a nap, etc.

Do Your Research

Fear of the unknown makes everything worse. Know where you're going, how you're getting there, and how you're getting home. Most meet-ups will post their location and information about the hosts, so you can get a feel for the vibe with a little research on your end.

Don't Feel Bad About Leaving at a Reasonable Hour

Attending a nighttime meetup but not a night owl? That's fine! Go, enjoy yourself, and leave when you feel it's time. Don't beat yourself up if some people are going out for drinks afterwards and you don't have the energy to join. You still took a huge step - you put yourself out of your comfort zone. Celebrate what you have done, instead of comparing yourself to what others have done.

Find a Buddy

If you're still feeling nervous, make a plan to connect with one person. Whether it's online before the event, or when you arrive. There's power in numbers. And the odds are, the more comfortable you get and the more you settle in, the better you'll feel about branching out.